ZACK GRIENKE BROODING

USA TODAY Sports

The latest news out of Dodgers camp has me thinking, have you ever seen a picture of Zack Greinke NOT brooding? He seems pretty deep in thought...

Let's be clear, here. Zack Greinke is one of my favorite players ever and I identify with him for undisclosed anxiety-related reasons. I love his game and I love his duality of most-intense-pitcherface-ever vs. "I really wouldn't mind mowing lawns and I literally couldn't give a shit less about your little 'sport.'"

It's just, man this guy is brooding.

Whatcha thinkin' about, Zack?

Gyi0061155482Photo credit: Jamie Squire

"Bob, you ever wonder what nothing really looks like? Where would it be? When could nothing exist? Is nothing not possible? And if nothing isn't possible doesn't that mean there really was no 'beginning?' I guess my point is this, Bob -- there is no where, no place, never, no time that nothing could have ever existed, because if it did it wouldn't have been nothing. Right? What do you think, Bob?"

"I ... uh ... I don't know, Zack."

146228751Photo credit: Jamie Squire

"I mean, look. If there's no such thing as nothing then that means the Universe -- and I'm including all the potential multiverses, alternate dimensions, multiple realities, and the significant chance we're a self-observing simulation here -- has always existed."

"Zack?"

129236823Photo credit: Jamie Squire

"That's exactly what I mean Bob! It's just a big circle! Or a mobius strip of infinite universal loops. Maybe the Universe looks like a big piece of broccoli, with the oldest universes at the stem and all the baby universes growing ever outward? Or it could be something like an inside-out balloon, where every inside edge touches every other outside edge..."

20120728_gav_sv5_029Gary A. Vasquez-US PRESSWIRE

"No, Bob, wait. There has to be more. Why are we even here? Doesn't it kinda blow your mind that here we are, having evolved on this particular planet -- Bob, I know you have your own beliefs and those are cool too but just go with me here -- observing the Universe? Don't you get it?! The Universe named itself!"

"But Zack, wait..."

150705774Photo credit: Dave Reginek

"I'm not sure I can, Bob. I want answers. I need answers.

It makes me feel like utterly nothing.

I know all the latest developments on the Higgs-Boson, but it's not enough. You think they'll come up with a unified theory soon? I like the idea that there's little baby universes inside every black hole, but at the same time thinking that we're in some other universe's random black hole makes me feel pretty small. It makes me feel like utterly nothing."

"Didn't you say nothing wasn't possible, Zack? We're in a closed system! There's no part of you that wasn't entirely conceived in the universe, and in a way, that means you are connected with every particle (and anti-particle if I caught what you were saying earlier), every baby universe, and every parent universe that ever existed, even if there was no beginning. That means that you are the Universe!"

"We are all one?"

"Yeah."

20130228_kkt_ar5_613USA TODAY Sports

"That's pretty deep, Bob."

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