Carlos Gomez, three others suspended following brawl

After Calos Gomez lingered too long at home plate, admiring what would inevitably become a triple, he and Gerrit Cole exchanged words that were somewhat more churlish than, "Hey guy. Maybe not so much with the grandstanding."*

*In the video below, you can hear Cole say something to the effect of, "Why don't you f*****g run out of the box next time!?")

For their exchange, and perhaps more appropriately for the bench-clearing that ensued, Gomez has been suspended for three games. Teammate Martin Maldonado, who can be seen throwing a right cross into the jowls of Travis Snider, was suspended for five.

The Pirates didn't escape the long, ineffectual arm of the MLB head office either; Travis Snider, for his part in the altercation, was suspended for a pair of games, and Bucs catcher Russell Martin was suspended for one.

In an attempt to prove just how ineffectual they really are, Major League Baseball's Ministry of Justice has also handed down a fine for Maldonado's vain attempts at pugilism:

Maldonado was also fined $2,500 for his actions in the brawl.

— Buster Olney (@Buster_ESPN) April 22, 2014

Yes, nothing like a five-game suspension and a one-half-of-one percent reduction in pay to really drive home the idea that baseball won't tolerate players putting their fists into the faces of others.