NL Central 10/19: Cubs shutout by Dodgers, 6-0

I don’t think I need to tell you about how cringeworthy last night’s Cubs v. Dodgers game was. You already know. You cringed along. The Cubbies need to do something about this anemic offense, or else what started out as the beginning of an inspiration baseball movie is going to transition into American Horror Story: The Chicago Cubs.

Let’s have some happy Cubs news, okay? Like what the inside of the scoreboard at Wrigley looks like. As Fred Washington, one of the men who works the 80-year old manually operated baseball relic, prepares for retirement at the end of the season, let’s remember all of the lovely things that come with being a Cubs fan.

“The Wrigley Field scoreboard is unique. In addition to the 15½ by 20 inch, five-pound panels that track inning-by-inning scores of the Cubs game and other major league games; the balls, strikes, batter uniform number and outs are recorded on what appear to be electric lights but are actually magnetic “eyelets.” The board at Wrigley Field was the first and apparently the only such use of this method. In 1937, when the board was constructed, the Tribune reported: “(the indicators) embody ingenious new magnetic principles never before employed in scoreboard design." Or since, because the company that created this design almost didn’t finish its Wrigley job.”

And while we’re at it, how about a new fight song to hum through gritted teeth. Better than curse words, right?

With the newly released arbitration projections causing a buzz around the league, let’s take a look at who on the Pirates is eligible. Jared Hughes, Jeff Locke, and Gerrit Cole are just three of the eight players up on the arbitration chopping block. In the case of some of these players, arbitration hearings could be the least of their offseason problems.

Keon Broxton had a rocky season. There was some volleying between Triple A and the big leagues, injuries that cut his playing time decently, and more strikeouts than there should have been. So does that make for a fair yardstick of what his time to come with the Brewers will look like? Hopefully not.

The Red Reporter doesn’t want you to remember their April predictions for 2016, so we’re here to remind you. C’mon guys, failed predictions are still kinda fun. It’s like a time capsule that’s full of Little League trophies. It was important at some point.

The Cardinals are secure in a lot of departments. They’re a quality team with talent spread out evenly throughout the roster, for the most part. However, they are weak in a very specific area that could help secure the elusive World Series title: a high-end player to done the grey and maroon uniform. The solution? Selling their eternal soul for Justin Turner.

In some strange news, Jon Heyman apparently fell victim to miscellaneous ChiTown debris descending from the sky.

It clearly caused some mild head trauma, seeing as he thinks Larry King is young.

We’ll be BBMing you our best, Jon.