With Halloween looming in the distance and baseball at it’s precipice, the only logical course of action this year would be to combine the two into a happy melding of spooky sports goodness. Or, if you waited until last minute like nearly everyone ever who lies to themselves about planning ahead, these costumes are just as easy to work with on the fly.
Be the envy of all of your friends who love America’s game but are also wearing tacky polyester couples costumes they bought at Party City, like, two hours ago.
1. Chris Sale and scissors
Rage against the establishment but also on that Chris Sale White Sox jersey you’ve been holding on to and have grown resentment for.
2. Trevor Bauer and a drone
Almost like Romeo and Juliet, it’s a tragic and flawed love story for the ages. Please do not actually cut your finger open for shock value, it is not worth the insurance paperwork.
3. Jose Altuve and Aaron Judge
Do you and your significant other have a hilarious height difference? Do you already own an Aaron Judge jersey? Keep this tired troupe alive and well despite the Yankees postseason elimination. All rise (especially if you need to stand on something to be in the same picture as your loved one).
4. Dallas Keuchel and his beard
As itchy as it is lucky. Also works very well if you already have a killer beard and are rooting for an Astros World Series win.
5. Clayton Kershaw and a strikeout
Does anything go together so perfectly? The answer is no. Form the ultimate bond with you bae while they’re dressed as a K and thank Clayton Kershaw for bringing you two closer.
6. Any Mets starting pitcher and a surgeon
There’s the Matt Harvey route, the Syndergaard route, or even the Steven Matz. However you slice it...nearly every New York pitcher has been sliced into. Badum tisssssh.
7. David Ortiz and Alex Rodriguez
Witty banter! World Series rings! Sometimes baseball analysis! Go as the soon-to-be stars to the sitcom America needs and wants.
8. Joe Girardi and his binder
The only rival to the dedication you and your S.O. have for each other is the unwavering devotion Girardi has to his binder. This costume is an expression of the purest of loves.
9. Keith Hernandez and Elaine Benes
Are you both fans of the 90s? Is your hair naturally a curly mess? Look no further.
10. Rhys Hoskins and a dinger
The savior of the Phillies games to come, why be a boring superhero this year when you can be a real hero. Gold star if you’re actually Rhys Hoskins.
Bonus frenemies costume: Chris Cotillo & Jeff Passan
Professionally, you remind me a lot of him, except for the part where you write anything remotely interesting.— Jeff Passan (@JeffPassan) October 26, 2017
Are you friends that just like to bicker for appearances or do you actually have a deep distaste for one another...or both? The world and internet may never know so you might as well dress accordingly. Sources say, at least.