Yoenis Cespedes lives all of our dreams, doesn’t show up to work and says he’s not coming back until next year

No, this is not a Carmen Sandiego reboot. Today you wanna Céspedes did not show up for practice. Nobody could find him, reports Anthony DiComo of MLB.com.

After sending security to the player’s hotel room, not a trace of him or his belongings were found. While the team was confident that his safety wasn’t at risk (any more than playing during a global pandemic, I guess) the situation was all around strange. Nearly three hours later, news broke that Cespedes had opted of this season in pretty much the most Cespedes way ever.

“This is a challenging time for everyone. And so we will support him in that decision. It was surprising, without question,” general manager Brodie Van Wagenen said in a statement about the ordeal.

What this means for our dear Yo, is that he’ll be foregoing the $4.07M he was set to make for the 60 game season. This being the final season of his four-year, $110M contract, it’s tough to see a world where he’s back in Queens next season. After missing over two years while battling ankle and wild boar related injuries, the 34-year old hit a glorious home run on Opening Day that many took as a sign of hope for better things to come. Despite the dinger, Yo’s stats for what few games he got in this season are rough: hitting .161 with two home runs and 15 strikeouts over 34 plate appearances is never a good look on a contract year.

Without Cespedes to serve as the universal DH that was implemented for this season, the baton will be passed to Dominic Smith and likely Robinson Canó.